Inner Hope

Tears upon my pillow,
As the pain from past days,
Comes back to me again.

My screams break through the night,
As memories I fight.
Like bombs dropped within past wars,
My mind explodes
As the torture grows.

So many years,
I have felt self pity,
Never knowing the feeling,
Of self love.
Only feeling self hate.

To the mirror I would look,
Hate the sight of my reflection,
My life without direction,
Suicide my intention.

Within the bath I'd like,
More tears,
I would cry.

From pill's I'd drift to sleep.
Then under the water I would die,
Tears washed forever,
From my tired eyes.

Christopher Wellbelove
9 February 1990